JUVENILE HALL Magazine Collage - Dental Records
Beat Cop #1: “OK Fred, whaddya have on these scrappy sirens? We’ve been staking out their lair for months now, there’s gotta be somethin’ we can pin on ‘em?”
Beat Cop #2; “Well Mike, they’ve got two priors, both self-released and what they call “punk” music, but the last time they Got Caught we had to let ‘em go due to lack of evidence.”
Beat Cop #1: “You don’t say? I call this music garbage…didn’t we bust a girl gang like them last month? What were they called?”
Beat Cop #2: “The Coathangers”?
Beat Cop #1: “Right-just add ‘em to our rap sheet of rowdies like Bad Channels or the Courtneys…anyway, let’s take a listen to this new recording-with these kids today you never know when you’ll hear ‘em sing about flunkin’ out of school, doin’ drugs and killin’ folk.”
Beat Cop #2: “Hoo boy, this track “Creep Freezer” is a doozie-can’t quite make out the lyrics…coulda sworn they said “don’t even dream about me/I’ll kill you in your sleep” but those guitars sure do cut sharp like a Ginsu…”
Beat Cop #1: “How about “Paste”? Sounds like they’re getting their kicks from sniffin’ glue…that drumbeat sure is catchy though…”
Beat Cop #2: “ It sure does, and “Waste of Time” has a neat groove that I can tap my feet to…”
Beat Cop #1: “SNAP OUT OF IT, FRED! For god’s sake man, what’s comin’ over us? These gals are evil personified, just listen to “No Cops”...they’re talkin’ trash about us!”
Beat Cop #2: “You’re right Mike…they may be singin’ sweet now, but the only chirping these birds will be doing from now on is from inside a steel cage!”
Beat Cop #1: “That’s enough for me…let’s put a lid on this pizza party, pronto!”
- Bryce Dunn
